WHO  AM  I

F A K E

FEBRUARY  20, 2019

I’m so fake! And I’m really good at it.

What is real and what is fake? Being real in a Photoshop world can be challenging. How do I know the real me? How do I know if what I think is the fake me, isn’t really the real me? Is acting differently with different people, in different environments, in different sittings, fake? Well obviously, right?

I would hear people say “he is so fake” or “she is being fake right now”. I too have judged people from the assumption I created in my head about their character.

“Why does this bitch have to say her fake hello’s to me with her fake smile, knowing she does not like me”

Do we think others are fake because we would have acted differently in a specific situation? Or do we think that we know someone so completely that their actions to whatever situation does not match the why we think or know they would act?

A lot of times people talk about finding themselves. If most of us don’t truly know who we are, how can we think that we know others?

“Each person has very different self-schemas that are influenced heavily by past experiences, relationships, upbringing, society, and culture. Who we are and our self-perceptions are heavily influenced by how we are raised, how we interact with others, and the impressions and feedback we receive from societal influences.”

Honestly, I truly don’t feel fake. My actions in every situation feels true to me. As I push through the beginning of my “self-year” I began to analyze many of the things that makes me, me.

Having an understanding of self-schemas which refers to the cognitive structures we have to describe various categories of knowledge about the world and ourselves, has allowed me to be more accepting of my shy, goofy and assertive sides. The idea that one must be the same in every situation in every environment is ludicrous to me. However, there are those who may wear mask to cover up who they truly are, and they may do this for many different reasons, unbeknownst to any of us. But, the act of covering up your truth is heartbreaking and requires empathy.

Authenticity to me means not compromising who I am, my comfortability or my self-worth in any situation. This is ultimately a state of mine that requires self-reflection, transparency, and openness with others and myself. Ultimately, my hope is to be true to ever schema but to also work on becoming the best me possible no matter the situation.

A lot of the conflict you have in your life exists simply because you're not living in alignment; you're not being true to yourself.” ― Steve Maraboli

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© 2019 by Bayonne Hutchinson.